A Walk to Remember, Nicholas Sparks. Cycle 20 Reading Response #4, 93-117.

Brief Summary:
In chapters 7 and 8, Jamie asks Landon to walk her home one day, even though she really doesn't need someone to. Landon agrees because, "Jamie's house was on the way to [his], and it wasn't that [he] liked her or anything," 94. Landon also proves to be quite shallow at times. When Ms. Garber announces the addition of seats in the auditorium to accommodate the particularly large crowd, the class "oohs and aahs." To that, Landon writes, "Remember, we have guys like Eddie in this class," 95. When he thinks about how he is walking Jamie home, he thinks, "I could practically imagine the angels in heaven, standing around and staring wistfully down at me with little tears filling the corners of their eyes, talking about how wonderful I was for all my sacrifices," 95. Then, Jamie asks him of the graveyard.
Jamie also reveals that she has no intentions of going to college, which Landon finds strange because she always spoke of Mount Sermon. He shows a bit of a lightness in heart when he says, "Despite the oddness of some of her answers, she seemed practically normal," 99. He feels even closer when he finds a link between himself and Jamie; they are both missing parents. At this time, Landon expresses true sincerity when he talks to her. When Jamie brings up the topic of her father, Hegbert, and how she thinks Landon would get along so well with him, she seems to be hiding some sort of secret. It was as if, "she knew some secret that she was keeping from me," 101.
When they near Jamie's home, Landon asks why she always carries around that Bible of hers. The Bible belonged to her mother, and it makes her feel closer to her. Just as Landon begins to feel better about it, Eric and Margaret drive by. Landon is completely embarrassed and ashamed to be caught walking Jamie home. "See what happens when you're a nice guy?" 104. When Landon goes to school the next day, he feels resentment towards her, especially with the rumors spreading around school, like that they are engaged.
Landon loses his cool after rehearsal one day, with the build up of mixed emotions towards Jamie. He yells at Jamie, spewing at her hurtful words. "I don't want to walk you home, I don't want my friends to keep talking about me, and I don't want to spend time with you. You keep acting like we're friends, but we're not. We're not anything. I just want the whole thing to be over so I can go back to my normal life," 107. Then, coldly, he states, "To tell the truth, it felt kind of good." But, being Jamie, she still shows her appreciation, saying, "Thank you for walking me home, Landon," 108. This is when Landon has a slight turnaround. "Even when I was mean to her face, she could find some reason to thank me. I actually hated her for it. Or rather, I think, I hated myself," 108.
Landon feels very guilty, and apologizes to her in public, even grabbing hold of her hand when she fails to smile in his presence. Eric talks to Landon before the play and when Landon shares that he has no intentions of ruining it, Eric says, "I guess you're finally growing up, Landon," 115. Then, when Jamie sets foot on stage, hair down (out of her usual bun), in a flowing white dress, with just a touch of make-up, looking like an angel, Landon couldn't help but mean it when he said, "You're beautiful," 115.

Vocabulary:
• welsh--[verb] fail to honor
• Lindbergh baby--[noun] Chas A. Lindbergh, kidnapped (later murdered) in 1932, son of aviator Charles Lindbergh
• suffice to say it--[verb] used to indicate that one is saying enough to make one's meaning clear while holding some reasons of discretion
• lethargic--[adj.] sluggish, apathetic
• trepidation--[noun] a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen
• hightail--[verb] move or travel fast
• stoically--[adverb] enduring pain and hardship without showing one's feelings or complaining
• exempt--[adj.] free from an obligation or liability imposed on others

Response:
Provide a brief context for the quote and analyze it, detail by detail. What can you infer and why?

page 98:
"I'll bet you're excited about going off to college next year," I said, changing the subject.
It took her a moment to answer.
"I don't think I'm going to go," she said matter-of-factly. Her answer caught me off guard. Jamie had some of the highest grades in out senior class, and depending on how the last semester went, she might even end up valedictorian...
"What about Mount Sermon? I though that's where you were planning to go. You'd love a place like that," I offered.
She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye.
It is surprising to Landon that Jamie would have no intentions of attending college because of her high grades and her strong beliefs, morals, having the "being the child everyone wants" perfection. So, being that this is so out of the ordinary, there must be a significant reason behind it. Her peculiar interest in the graveyard also ties into this hidden mystery. From this, I can infer that somehow Jamie's life will be cut short, which would account for her graveyard concern, and not thinking she will go to college, or not thinking she will live to go to college. Being that she knows of her time left, it must be something that could be foreseen, such as a disease or cancer. Her "matter-of-fact" response shows that she has known for some time of her illness.
This passage also shows the growing interest Landon has in Jamie. If it were true that Landon had zero interest in Jamie whatsoever, he would not voluntarily walk Jamie home everyday after rehearsal, and he wouldn't have known for sure where it was that Jamie aspired to go, or that she would have liked that place. But, he said it in a manner that expressed care and attention for her. This would explain her reaction to his comment: a twinkle in her eye. Jamie also recognized this. From this short passage, I can also infer that Landon really does have (hidden) feelings for Jamie.


page 107-108:
"Don't you get it?" I said, exasperated. "I'm not nervous about the play, I just don't want to be here. I don't want to walk you home, I don't want my friends to keep talking about me, and I don't want to spend time with you. You keep acting like we're friends, but we're not. We're not anything. I just want the whole thing to be over so I can go back to my normal life."
It was the first time I'd raised my voice to her. To tell the truth, it felt kind of good.
She looked hurt by my outburst, and to be honest, I couldn't blame her.
"Thank you for walking me home, Landon," she called out.
I winced as soon as she said it. Even when I was mean to her face and said the most spiteful things, she could find some reason to thank me. She was just that kind of girl, and I think I actually hated her for it.
If you just glance at this excerpt, you would get the impression that Landon does not like, possibly even hates, Jamie. He's saying things that he knows will hurt her, but I can infer that he doesn't really mean it. What I believe he is trying to do is convince himself that he doesn't like her. He is trying to intentionally hurt her to push and give her reason to stay away. The reason he states that it felt good to hurt Jamie so badly was that he felt like he had persuaded himself, and proved, that he really didn't like Jamie. He couldn't blame Jamie for looking hurt because he knew how hurtful he had been. He recognized the hurt because deep down he felt bad.
He winced at Jamie's thanks because she was giving him another reason to like her. Landon didn't really hate Jamie because she would find a reason to give thanks even when a person was cruel, he hated her because she just kept becoming more admirable.